I listened to some true crime stories today. The stories aren’t that important because they aren’t my story, but they did make me think about lies, sins, and accountability. I’ve done some bad things in my life. There are things I’m ashamed of and I regret, but I wouldn’t lie to anyone about them. It isn’t because I’m not a good liar. I am very good, and I have good reason to lie in order to save face, get along with others, and avoid embarrassment. However, no amounts of lying can hide my sins from God. I can tell other people whatever I want, but my sins still weigh heavy in my heart and God knows all of them.
Last week, I saw a movie with an interesting concept. The idea that there are different levels of sin is man-made to God all sins are the same. That’s a hard one for me growing up Catholic with mortal and venial sins. I read Dante’s “Divine Comedy” and know about the different circles of Hell. Yet, this concept makes sense. Why would one sin be of greater evil to God than another? Isn’t it just an idea that human beings came up with to make them feel better about certain sins? I can just see it now, “Oh, it isn’t that bad, at least it isn’t a mortal sin.”
Everything that I do in my life makes a difference and has an impact. If I act out of love or not, God will know. I don’t think God measures time and space and if He doesn’t measure time and space, then I don’t think He measures the degree of sin either.
I can’t live my life believing that God is keeping a scorecard. Even if there’s no goal of Heaven and the end of my life, I don’t think God is watching me trying to determine if I lived a life that is worthy of His love. I already have His Grace and His love. He’s with me.
There’s a part of me when I make mistakes and when I sin that fears the consequences. It’s difficult to stand up and say I messed up and accept whatever comes next. However, with God, for me, it isn’t difficult because He never abandons me, and He never stops loving me. There’s nothing that would take His love away. Knowing that is why when I sin, I don’t lie. I am accountable for myself and for who I am. Why should I hide myself from the world, when I never have to try to hide myself from my God?
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
