I was thinking about how each of us walks our own path in life. My best example is having OCD. Having OCD affects how I see the world. It changes everything for me: how I approach the world, how I literally sense the world, how I make decisions in my life, and even what my relationship with God is like. There are other people in my life, like my husband, my family, and my close friends who know that I have OCD and that I struggle with it, but none of them can really know what it is like to live with the disorder. None of them will ever have to stand at a bathroom sink and obsessively brush their teeth for hours. They can try to understand what it is like, but they will never know what it is like.
The interesting part is that even other people with OCD can try to understand, but since there are different type of OCD sometimes it can be even difficult for someone with OCD to really know. For example, there are people who have contamination OCD. It is a type of OCD where the person becomes obsessed with germs. I can understand better than someone who doesn’t have OCD what they experience, but on a deeper level, I don’t become obsessed with germs and so I really don’t know what it is like for someone with contamination OCD.
I have thought about my type of OCD. I don’t think it really fits into any mold, but if it did, I think that I become obsessed with paranoid thoughts. I’m sure there are people out there who also have the same experience and they know fairly well what it is like for me. However, I don’t know anyone like that right now and I haven’t met anyone who is like that. I know it is okay though.
My path is my own to walk. It is unique and it belongs only to me. No one else can walk it for me. Sometimes other people can relate to my struggles and connect with me, but no one can totally know what it is like to be me. That’s what makes my relationship with God so special. He knows billions of people, but with me, He knows what my path is, and He knows me and what it is like to be me. That’s why I know I am not alone. When I am lost in the deepest darkest recesses of OCD and anxiety, I know God can still find me and bring me to the light. He know me because He knows everything. I find that comforting.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
