This morning I had a difficult time. I woke up to a power outage. My husband took everything in stride like most people would. He found out that there was a power outage in our area and that the utility company was working on it. He told me that in about an hour or so the power would come back on. That’s exactly what happened.
That’s not how I handle it because I have an OCD mind with PTSD thrown in for good measure. I went straight for the worst case-scenario thinking that the power wasn’t going to come back on for days. The bad part is that a couple of years ago that’s exactly what happened and so all my memories of that time came flooding back into my memory. Every difficult part of not having any power, not being able to stay warm, not being able to heat food, etc. just went through my mind. I just felt a rising terror going through my mind, except I had to stop myself. I need to believe that even though my mind and body felt like this horrible situation was occurring all over again my mind and body were wrong. I had to take a leap of faith that believe that everything was going to be okay. Just about an hour after I got up, about ten minutes before my husband left for work, the power came back on.
It happens to me often. Everything inside of me tells me that my world is falling apart, that I am going to fall hard, and that I will spin out of control. Yet, I leap and have faith in God. It’s amazing that it doesn’t happen. I feel like it is almost a miracle.
I just know that God won’t ever give me more than I can handle. It is something that I have faith in. He won’t abandon me. So, I continue to leap knowing that even if I go off the edge, God will be there with me and it will be okay.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
