Yesterday, I was writing about how God sees me and how it relates to His commandments. When I talked to my husband about it, I started to understand better the lesson. When people talk about the commandments of God, sometimes they say that people are being asked to go against their human nature or instinct. If someone hits me, then why shouldn’t I fight back? If there’s a tree with an apple, then why shouldn’t I eat the apple? If my enemy kills someone I love, then why shouldn’t I kill my enemy?
These are all good questions. And if I approached the world in an animalistic way, then sure, why not act on instinct as if I didn’t have a soul? The problem is a do have a soul and I do know the difference between right and wrong. God asks that I see this world from a greater perspective. He wants me to try to see the world from His point of view. He wants me to see the humanity in my brothers and sisters in Christ. He wants me to realize that His plan is greater than I could ever imagine.
I always used to think that God wanted me to force myself to go against my own nature to forgive the people who hurt me and to let go of my anger. I thought He expect me to force myself to love my enemies even when it was the last thing I wanted to do. Then yesterday, I realized that He isn’t asking me to force myself to do anything. He isn’t asking me to do things that I don’t want to do. He is asking me to change my heart so that I will want to do those things.
I have a great example. Yesterday, I read a diary from when I was a teenager. Inside of it, I had written that I hated these girls from my school because they had been my friends and then for reasons, I didn’t understand they just stopped being my friends. One minute, I had friends and then I didn’t have any friends. Over thirty years ago, I still remember that time. I know that at the time, I was angry and hurt. I really hated those girls, and it would have been so difficult for my teenage self to do anything but hate them. Now, I look back and I know they were just teenage girls. They were trying to figure out who they were. Whatever they did or didn’t do to me really wasn’t malicious; it was just thoughtless. I can see it now.
All of God’s children are simply that children. Each one of us at one time was a child, a teenager, a young adult, etc. We all get lost. We all make mistakes. How can I hate someone else when I am a sinner, too? How can I not forgive one moment in a lifetime, when I have had some awful moments in my lifetime, too? God wants us to see the big picture to imagine that we are looking down at the world from up high and to see the best of what each of us could be. That’s not an easy thing to do. In fact, it is incredibly difficult. Yet, I think it’s worth taking on this monumental task that I will never succeed at. This task is Sisyphus’s punishment in Hell rolling the boulder up the hill forever only to have to roll back down again. Yet, when I think about how this task can change my heart, I know I can feel the light of God inside of me.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
