I recently wrote a story that was based on my father. Today, I have been thinking about him. He was a very scared person. I don’t think he was born scared. From the stories he told me about himself, he was a rambunctious kid who got into trouble all the time. His problems started when he was young though. He was born right before WWII started, his father died when he was a teenager, and his younger brother died when my father was only twenty-one years old. My father was born in a time of great turmoil and tragedy. Then, he had to deal with his own personal turmoil and tragedy on top of that. I think he came to believe that life can be unexpected, and the worst things can happen when he least expected them. I can’t blame him.
I have led a very blessed life. Many difficult things have happened in my life, but very few have come unexpectedly and just swept me off my feet into a pool of sorrow. And yet, I have had those moments that change everything in just one moment in time. There’re these moments when something happens (and it really doesn’t have to be a huge event), but when it happens, you know that your life is never going to be the same again. Sometimes these moments can be amazing and wonderful, like the moment I first laid eyes on my husband. However, many times they are filled with sorrow, like the moment my brother told me my father had died.
These moments define my life because they are the times when I take that leap of faith. In those moments, I take a leap of faith and I give my life to God and pray that whatever is going to come, God will be with me. When my life path changes so quickly, it can be so unnerving and good or bad, it can sweep me off my feet, make me feel unbalanced, give me the feeling of being lost. The only way to feel like I am going to be okay and more forward is to hold my hands out and know that God will lead me. When the path is difficult, I know that I may not understand where it is going, but God does have a plan for me, and I just have to trust in that plan.
I always felt for my dad because he really had some good qualities and a good personality. It was just so hard to peel back the layers that he had built up to protect himself because of all the tragedy that he had suffered. I pray that wherever he is today that he is safe and happy.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
