I never understood when people said “I can’t” when it came to helping someone else. Then, today came. A physical therapist was talking to me about my mother. He told me that the situation wasn’t getting any better and that roles were reversing she was becoming the child and I was becoming the parent. All I could think was “I can’t.”
I need to explain something here. I want to help her, but I can’t. The Serenity Prayer is about understanding what I can control and what I can’t. I can’t do anything about her behavior. She doesn’t want to do anything to help herself. She isn’t willing to follow the doctor’s orders. She isn’t willing to do anything that the physical therapist suggest. Her condition keeps deteriorating and there’s nothing I can do because she won’t do anything to help herself. I know that I can’t do anything because I am powerless to change her behavior. As I see this slowly unfold, I just can’t.
The worst part is she’s too proud and vindictive to even ask me for help. Instead, she continues to just try to hurt me with her words, saying whatever she can to make me feel as bad as she does. The only problem is I don’t care anymore, and her words fall on deaf ears.
Yet, when I get home, I am very aware of the fact that I can’t change any of this. So, I pray to God to have mercy on her, and I pray to God to give me the strength and fortitude to not be like her with I get old. I want to love my life until my dying breath.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
