When I was a little girl, I thought all I needed to do was be good, not bad and then I would go to Heaven, not Hell. If I did the right not wrong thing, then I would be happy, not sad. It all seemed so simple. So black and white. Now that I am older, the world just isn’t that simple anymore.
I learned that God created both good and evil. I now know that my life is made up of joy and sorrow. There’s never anything that is truly just black and white. When people say that something isn’t black or white, they tend to say it is more like a spectrum. I have heard about the autism spectrum and the gender spectrum. It is a clear line with to opposites at each end at the person falls somewhere in between. I almost get a laugh when I think about the idea of a sinfulness spectrum with good on one side and evil on the other. I wonder where I would fall on the line?
I don’t think the spectrum idea works. I don’t think the whole binary system works either. Yes, I know our world is binary and it is great for understanding this physical world, but time and space don’t work either although they are fabulous concepts to understand our world as we know it. I am beginning to see that just as God exist in a plane outside of time and space, He also exist in a plane outside of binaries. He transcends it. I consider of the Yen and Yang symbol. It contains both as one. It is two separate things as yet at the same time it is one. I also contemplate the Holy Trinity: three persons in one God. There’s the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. For me they are three separate beings and yet they represent one God. It’s a mystery that I accept without understanding, but total faith. I think when I die, I will be able to understand that all being are good and evil and it’s okay. All of us are male and female. All events are good and bad. There’s a transcendence beyond the binary where all exists as one in the same. I don’t think my mere human mind can grasp it yet, but I have faith that when God is ready for me to understand, I will.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
