My blog is called My Faith Saved Me, but originally, I was going to call it My Dog Saved Me. That point was driven right into my heart today. My husband took all the dogs to the vet this morning for an undefined period of time and didn’t explain that to me until the last minute. I freaked out and had a panic attack because I was going to be left at home. I lasted about an hour and a half, then I had to go get my dogs.
I used to not be able to sleep alone. It was a struggle every single night. I just felt scared to death. The turning point was letting my dogs sleep with me. When I knew that I was alone, I could finally relax enough to be able to sleep. I am adult, but I hate being in my house alone. I am sure I could get used to it, but I function because I have my dogs to keep me company.
I’m know what it is all about, too. My horrible mother brainwashed me. She didn’t want me to feel comfortable being alone. She wanted me afraid of the entire world. She wanted me to feel incomplete on my own. She did all of this so that I would never leave her. I left anyway, but when I did, I developed severe anxiety disorder. Some days I feel like I am functioning like everyone else, but on days like today, I feel like half a person. And so, I hold my dogs and let them comfort me. I know that somehow, I’ll be okay. I so much need to believe that more than anything on a day like today.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
