I was talking to my husband last night about my thoughts and my post yesterday about humility. He last words to me were “You can’t fight human nature.” As I was going to sleep, I started to wonder if God really asks us to go against our nature. Are we truly selfish and prideful human beings at our core?
It is a very difficult question to answer because I cannot see into another person’s heart and truly know what’s inside. The only person that I will ever be able to really know is myself. When I examine my own conscience and my own heart, I don’t think human nature is a simple factor. I think it is one of the most complex factors there ever could be. After all, science doesn’t know how the brain works. Science hasn’t determined how much of our behavior is based on nature (genetics) and how much is based on nurture (environment). We haven’t been able to figure out if there is a spirit or soul and how much that factors into human nature.
The only answers I have can come from my own experience and my own experience is definitely colored by OCD. Here’s what I do know: Every day of my life, I find myself making millions of decisions. There are so many decisions that I am not even consciously aware of some of them. Many of those decisions have to do with ethics, morality, and spirituality. They determine the person I am and the person that I will become. I know that it is in my nature to not think about my actions. I can act irrationally, out of fear and out of anger. I have acted out of pride, envy, gluttony, laziness, wrath, greed, and lust. After all, I am only human. I have it within me to be an evil human being. We are all sinners. That’s human nature.
However, I am also a person who is capable of love, forgiveness, kindness, patience, humility, modesty, generosity, and activity. As much as I have it with in me to be an evil human being, I also have it within me to be a good human being. God doesn’t ask me to fight against the part of me that is capable of evil; He asks that I find a way to balance the two halves within me. When I make decisions that don’t fit my true nature, my OCD spikes. So, I try to find ways to live where I find like I am being true to myself. That doesn’t mean that I have to be a perfect human being who never sins. It means finding a way to live that makes me feel like I am being true to myself; like I am the person that God wants me to be. God never would ask me to fight against myself or my nature. God only asks that I love Him above all others and that I love others as much as I love myself. If I love others as much as I love myself. That means I accept myself as I am, and I do the same with others. We are all capable of evil and atrocities. Some of us do some horrible things. We all struggle to find that balance. One day, God will sort it all out, but this day, all God asks to for us to love.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
