I saw a show about someone who created a false online profile of themselves and then met people online. I couldn’t understand why anyone would or could do that to anyone; it just seems like there’s no way for a relationship to not be doomed when it starts with a lie.
When I heard the entire story behind the person, I started to understand better, and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I’ve always been taught that Satan is the father of all lies. I think evil might come from the idea that we lie to ourselves and try to convince ourselves that we are doing the wrong thing for the right reasons.
In many reality shows, whether they are real or not, the people often seem to be doing that. They show awful behavior, and they excuse it with the justification that they did the wrong thing for the right reason. Except I think it might be a case of lying to oneself.
When people feel bad about themselves, they feel like there’s nothing they can do to fix the problem. I know. I felt that way. I never really understood that until today. When I felt so bad about myself, I felt so helpless because I could do anything to fix the problem. It felt like I was so out of control of everything in my life because I couldn’t ever get away from my biggest problem. I couldn’t ever get away from myself. I ended up just wanting to have one thing in my life that I could control so that I wouldn’t feel so helpless. The problem was that I didn’t realize that my trying to control anything was an illusion and would only lead to heartache. Whenever I tried to control something, I was only lying to myself about the real problem and about what I could truly control in my life.
The day that everything changed for me was the day, I put my life in God’s hands. I realized that I didn’t have control. I stopped lying to myself. It was scary to admit that, and my life didn’t automatically become better. Even today, I am having a difficult day suffering with migraine pain. However, there’s a huge difference between then and now. I used to feel helpless and worried that I wouldn’t be able to get through the day. I worried that even the slightest setback was going to through me into an unrecoverable tailspin. These days, I know I’m not in control, but I don’t feel helpless. I know that God is with me and won’t abandon me. I know I am going to have setbacks and it isn’t going to be easy, but with God by my side I’ll get through anything. That’s faith.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
