I read something last night that rang true to how I am beginning to understand my life. It was simply the idea that the good I do is evil to someone else somewhere in the world. It all falls into perspectives. I can see some people say then, “Why even try? Why follow rules or laws? Why try to accomplish anything?”
I think about the myth of Sisyphus. He is constantly rolling the boulder up the hill and every time he gets it to the top, it rolls back down the hill. He starts all over again and it goes on for eternity. Some people see it as hell, but some people see that the meaning is in the struggle he takes to roll the boulder up the hill, the end result doesn’t really matter.
It is the same way for all of us. Many of us are taught that if we try our best to be good people, then we will reap good rewards in Heaven and if we aren’t good people, then we will receive punishment in hell. We can spend a lifetime, hoping that everything we do will matter in life after death and judging others believing that they will be judged for what we believe is their bad behavior in the afterlife. The problem with that is that life is right here right now. It isn’t about the way we end our journey, but how we live our journey. What if there’s no heaven or hell? I would have spent my entire life in anticipation for a result that never even existed instead of embracing and enjoying a life that God had given to me as an amazing gift.
It doesn’t really matter if life is full of paradoxes or that I can’t be perfect. I don’t care if there may not be a reward waiting for me at the end. Being able to live should be a reward in itself. I thank God every day just because I am alive, and He gave me this wonderful experience. I want to try, struggle, and accomplish because I want to experience all that life has to offer. If there is a Heaven, I want to try to be the person God sees when He looks down at me from Heaven.
I know I won’t ever reach that perfection, but I am going to love trying for the rest of my life.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
