I was in an airport waiting for a flight. There was this young man sitting there. He was looking at his computer and waiting for a flight as well. He was wearing a hoodie, but I could still see the front of his head and he had curly black hair. As he was looking at his computer, he would reach up with one hand and grab one of his curls and twist it back and forth in his fingers. For most people, this behavior really isn’t a problem. There was nothing to it and he really wasn’t doing anything. Yet for me it was so unnerving that I had to put on my headphones and start listening to some music and make sure that I didn’t look in his direction.
For some reason, seeing his twisting his hair in his fingers made me feel like I was listening to a sound. It was like listening to a horrible squeaking sound that grated on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. My only way to combat the sensory overload was to first not look at the sight of him and second to give myself an auditory input that would counteract the one I was getting from the sight of his twisting his hair.
It is really strange, but I am finding that I often get overwhelmed with sensory inputs because it is like the senses are cross wired. Lots of noise feels like pounding on my body and lots of light and visual cues feel like something really loud in my head. I never really paid too much attention before, but I have begun to start realizing it now. It is interesting how the different senses work and how it all fits into what works for me.
The biggest lesson that I have learned is that there is a balance to everything. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I really don’t need to be afraid that it is going to be too much for me too handle; I just need to find a way to balance out the part of life that is making me feel overwhelmed. It can be as simple as listening to music when my auditory senses are overwhelmed or as easy as just giving whatever is troubling me up to God. I know I feel fear and anxiety and I will feel them for the rest of my life, but I also know that I have no reason to really be afraid because God will be with me all the days of my life. He will guide me and help me find my way.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
