Today is Good Friday. I thought it was a good time to reflect on one of the life lessons that has been very strong this year in my life: Life isn’t always going to be happy, but to really experience the true gift of life I need to accept and be thankful for both the good and bad parts of life.
Good Friday celebrates the day of Jesus’ crucifixion. It is a day of unimaginable pain and suffering, but it also a day of loving sacrifice. For me, it is a paradox. I feel such sorrow when I think about the pain and suffering and yet at the same time, I feel such joy when I think about the love and faith it took to make such a sacrifice. I wish that the crucifixion never had to happen and yet at the same time, it is my greatest wish that in all things for God’s will to me done.
Good Friday exemplifies to me the great paradox of life when it comes to God. We want to believe that God is all powerful, all knowing, and loving and if He is, then He will protect us from evil and sorrow. However, it is because God is all powerful, all knowing and loving, that He allows us to experience life to its full extent including all the greatest joys and sorrows that there could be. And what’s more, I find myself being thankful that He loves me so much that He allows me to experience it. I know every time I feel joy, He is right there with me. Every time, I feel pain and sorrow, He feels it, too. I am never alone. He will never abandon me.
One of the most confusing parts of the Bible is during the passion Jesus cries out “Father, why have you forsaken me?”. I never could understand it. Then during a Bible study, a priest explained that it wasn’t a question; it was part of a prayer. Jesus wasn’t asking why God had abandoned Him; He was praying during His final moments. If that is true, then I find such comfort in it because it’s okay to feel sorrow and pain. It is okay to feel down, hurt, and lost. Even Jesus felt that way. Just know that no matter how bad it feels, God is always there.
I can’t compare myself to Jesus or anyone else, but I understand that prayer. I have felt lost and alone. I have felt like I didn’t want to live anymore because I thought I was useless and just a problem for everyone who knew me. I would pray to God and ask why He didn’t just let me die. I would get angry and ask how He could let me continue living feeling the way I did. Yet the most amazing part of it looking back at all was that I never thought even during the worst times that God wasn’t there. I didn’t doubt for a second God existed. I can’t believe that Jesus did either.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
