I have been dealing with a cluster migraine for about a week now. When it gets this bad, I start to get really tired because I have been in pain for such a long time. There was a point today when I just got a rush of pain into my head. It made my head feel like it weighed about ten pounds, and I couldn’t even think straight. The thought popped into my head that instead of trying to run away of ease the pain, I should just lean into it and try to experience it.
I took off my glasses, leaned forward, and just let myself start to cry. After just a minute or so, my Jack Russel came up to me and wanted me to hold him. I pick him up in my lap and he started to kiss me. He didn’t know what was wrong, but he wanted to make me feel better.
The part that amazed me was that it is really scary to just say to myself it hurts, but I am just going to let myself feel the pain. I don’t know what is going to happen. When I go to that place of pain, I am the only person feeling the pain so I can feel very alone. Yet, when I try it, God is always there. He never lets me have more pain than I can handle. Today when my dog came up to me, it reminded me that I am never alone in my pain. I guess the point is taking that leap of faith is scary, but it is easier to do it when I know God is right there with me taking that step with me.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
