Earlier this week, I got a virus and became sick. Tonight I was thinking about it. I am always writing about how God gives me signs to tell me that I am on the right path, but I also think that God gives us other signs if we only open our eyes to them. I’ve been having one all my life and I have either been ignoring it or just didn’t know what to do with it.
All my life, my voice has been really soft. I just can’t judge how loud I am speaking. I never could. When I think I am speaking at a normal volume, most people tell me I need to speak up. Part of the problem is that I don’t notice background noise and I don’t adjust the volume of my voice for that. Another part of the problem is I just don’t hear my voice well, I think I speak with more of a monotone than most people do, but I’m not sure. When I was a little girl, I would get sore throats a lot. I would get them all the time. I had my tonsils out when I was five years old because I was getting sore throats so much. I ended up having strep throat four times when I was a senior in high school. Then when I was in college, I started to lose my voice. I would get a cold or sore throat and within a day, my voice would go. Here I am thirty years later and it is the same story. My voice just comes and goes. Sometimes I don’t even need to get really sick. I just need to get allergies and it goes.
Maybe God is trying to tell me something. I am going to have to do some research about it. My initial thoughts though is that I probably feel like I don’t have my own voice. In my own family, I could stand in the middle of the house and scream ’til I lost my voice, but it wouldn’t matter. They wouldn’t ever really hear what I was trying to say. That’s hard to accept. Maybe I just want to know that someone can hear me.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
