I signed up for National Novel Writing Month. Essentially, the author writes a 50,000 words novel in one month or at least tries to. It is a good motivator for writers. It is a great way to raise money for education and it also it a good way to help young writers form community and get writing. When I first heard about it, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to do it, but I wanted to try. Then, today I made one of the goals, I reached the 25,000 word point and it felt like I could really get there.
However, I realized that the whole thing is created in such a way that a person with OCD couldn’t fail. I didn’t realize this when I started it, but it is set up so that each person is encouraged to update their word count each day. If the author updates their word count every day in November they get a reward. In addition, if the author reaches a particular word count goal every day in November they get a reward. If the author reaches that particular word count goal every day in November, then they will write over 50,000 words.
With my OCD, it is like a rule, if I am participating, then I have to update every day and I have to reach the word count goal every day. It is just a compulsion at this point. I don’t see my being able to not do it. Some of the other writers I know say that doing things like this can kill their creativity and I think it is sort of ironic that because I have OCD, I actually find myself with a compulsion to write sometimes. I may not even want to do it, but I feel like it is something that I have to do.
I don’t know if that kills the creativity or if it just makes me approach the artistic process with a completely new perspective. When I think about it, I realize that I truly am filled with gratitude for the way I am. I’m not a typical artist and I don’t approach it the way most people do. Only time will tell what that means, but one thing for sure I have been able to follow a truly amazing and unique path.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
