Today I went on a shopping trip. I went shopping in a place where I didn’t know and so when I was driving, I had to use the GPS in my phone the entire time. I was feeling a heightened sense of anxiety the whole time because it was so far outside of my comfort zone. The OCD feeling that something was wrong. The whole time I was shopping, I was talking to myself and trying so hard to stay calm. I tried my best and I really did a good job.
As I was driving back, I decided to go by a familiar place. That’s when everything went wrong. As I was coming to the familiar place, I found myself relax for just a second. I lost concentration and I didn’t see a stop light right in front of me. I almost didn’t stop for it. I know that I scared the cross traffic. The whole thing really bothered me.
Although I would never wish OCD on my worst enemy, there’s a part of me that realizes I am grateful for it in my life. Having that anxiety and that feeling that something is wrong has helped me to keep my mind in the present. It makes me really think about where I am and what I am doing. Today showed me that when I don’t do that, it can have horrible consequences.
Maybe I am not me to go through life totally relaxed with my head in the clouds and maybe OCD has of way of keeping my feet firmly on the ground.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
