I love to watch horror movies and I can guess between horror movies and other film and TV, I have witnesses hundreds if not thousands of fake murders on TV and movie screens. When I was younger, I really didn’t seem to bother me that much. I would see an action movie where the hero would have to kill many men to get to his goal and because he was the hero and the other men were evil, it seemed okay.
These days things don’t seem so black and white. In the real world, there aren’t any heroes and villains like that. No matter who dies, that person is someone’s child. The person has a family who loves them and when they die, the world changes in a very real way. Every life is precious and whenever life is lost, no matter whose life it is, the world will never be the same.
I was recently watching an old movie and at the end there is a brutal murder. The whole scene takes place with a strobe light going on. I have never liked strobe lights. They bother my eyes and I think it might make my migraines worse. Well, it has been a few days and today, I was watching a different movie and there was a scene that had strobe lights. I couldn’t bear to watch it. I had to look away. It reminded me too much of the other brutal murder scene.
I don’t know what it means. I write gruesome murders and scenes of horrible violent episodes. Those scenes come into my mind and with my OCD, they find like a living nightmare. Being about to write about them and share them, feels like a little release from the torture. However, for me, I don’t take what I see lightly. When I see these horrible images on a screen, it does affect me probably more now than ever.
I am just amazed at how there are so many people on this earth and yet how callous we are to the fact of the lost of life every day. It is staggering. I can’t really do much to save millions of lives, but I guess the reason I have changed is because I have started to understand what a precious gift life is. I don’t want to take it for granted. When a hero just cuts down twenty or thirty men with a machine gun to get to his next goal, it really does take life for granted, doesn’t it?
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
