I had one of those stressful days where everything seemed to go wrong. I felt really stressed out. There were several times in the day when I felt my anxiety symptoms. I could feel my hands shaking. My heart was racing. I had to stop what I was doing and take some deep breaths so that I wouldn’t just completely lose it and break down. I was able to get through it though.
Looking back on my day, it’s interesting that my stress wasn’t caused so much by things going wrong as much as things no going the way I expected them to go. When I really think about it, there’s so much in my life that relies on expectation. Things that I take for granted could be taken away at any time. For example, I live in a beautiful house, but a weather event could happen and destroy it at any time. There’s nothing that I could do about it. I don’t expect it to happen, but it could happen.
I have to live my life as if these horrible worst case scenarios aren’t going to happen. If I did live that way, I would be afraid to leave the house. At the same time, I have to be aware that the could happen. That’s when I have faith. Faith tells me that the sky could come falling down and it could be a disaster. I might lose everything, but God will be with me. Knowing that I am not alone gives me comfort. It lets me know that no matter how bad it gets, I will endure.
I know one day when I least expect it, death is coming for me. Sometimes that worries me, but I am trying to not be afraid. I know that even then God is going to be with me. No matter what happens His love is going to get me through it and there will be nothing to fear; only love.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
