Plunging Ahead

I am having a difficult time because of ear ringing.  I think I might have an ear infection of some sort, but it is causing me to feel sick.  I am dizzy and have a headache. I don’t feel like myself.  Worst of all, I don’t know what I can do to fix it.    

It’s that feeling of being dragged into a tunnel into a dark place and feeling like the light is disappearing.  And instead of just wanting to plunge into darkness, I want to hold on to the little light left that I can see.  I don’t know what to do, so I am just going to let in take me and I know that I am going to fall apart in the next few days.  I know it’s going to feel horrible and everything is going to be overwhelming, but there’s nothing I can do to stop it. 

I wrote about this just the other day.  It isn’t easy.  I don’t want to just relax into this feeling sick and having this ringing in my ear.  Yet, I know that having ear infections is a part of life.  It’s part of the experience and even though it sucks, I need to be brave and not run away from it.    

So, I’ll face having a panic attack and losing it.  I’ll be going into this dark tunnel and know that I won’t be able to see the light at the other side.  And no matter how bad I feel, I’ll hope because I know that God won’t leave me.  

My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts. 

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