I have been feeling a little self-defeated the last few days. I think it’s because I don’t have any significant writing projects or tutoring sessions this week. I also gave myself a six-month window after quitting my job and that is slowly coming to a close at the end of this month. When I evaluate things, I don’t know what will happen.
Today, before I began writing, I decided to look at social media and I found a post by someone who was going through something similar to me. He just found out that his mom was mentally ill, and the discovery has made him rethink his entire childhood. So many others on the forum gave good comments, but no one wrote what I thought so I wrote a reply.
I shared my experience about how my life has been a journey of self-discovery. I have had this experience not just once, but several times. I have learned something about myself, or my family and it has completely changed my view of myself, my family, and my world. Every time, it feels like my world has shattered, but I get through it. I move forward and hopefully I am a better person for it.
I shared that experience with this person. And I hope it helped. I also shared two suggestions. First, I shared a paired down version of the Serenity Prayer. I said that there are things you can control and things you can’t. You can’t control your parent’s behavior or make them change, but you can control your own behavior and how you react to your parent. Second, I suggested practicing forgiveness. I said that even though my mother hurt me, I didn’t think she was capable of doing more than she could. I forgave her.
I think there ae two types of people in the world: people who for whatever reason choose to stay in the cave and people who continually try to get out of the cave and find their way into the light. The people who want to stay in the cave don’t trust God completely. They don’t put Him above all others. And so when they have to face struggles and difficulties, they turn to the shadows all around us: fear, anger, greed, drugs, alcohol, pride, etc. However, there are a few people who do break the chains and when they face struggles and difficulties, they turn from the shadows and into the light. When they do, it changes the way they see their world. It is painful and it hurts, but once they accept it, they are better people. And if they continue on this path, they will continue to trust in God and learn, but if not they will be overtaken by shadows all over again. And very few have ever made it out of the cave into the true light. Probably only one: Jesus.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
