When I was around twenty years old, my mother had to go to the hospital. She had to have an angiogram because the doctors feared that she had a blockage in her arteries and might need heart surgery. My father and I waited in the waiting room for hours fearing the worst. Finally, we were told that they were able to stabilize her with the procedure and that surgery wasn’t necessary at that time. She was fifty-three. I will be fifty-three next month.
The doctors told her that she needed to lose weight, stop smoking, and get her diabetes under control or else she would suffer severe consequences. Instead of making those changes, she said she tried, but she didn’t have the “will power”. She continued to smoke and eat whatever she wanted. Over the next thirty years of her life, I saw her suffer terribly because of the consequences. The combination of heart disease and diabetes caused her to suffer from several painful ailments and yet nothing deterred her, and she continued her lifestyle without making any changes.
Now that I have reached the same age, I am acutely aware that I make changes every day that not only affect today but will affect my life several years from now. I am trying my best to do what I can to enjoy my life today, but also have a good quality of life in the future. However, one of the problems I have is that I don’t know if the choices I am making are the correct ones. Not only that, but I have family and friends around me and I see the choices they are making. I also hope that they make the best ones for the future as well. But all too often, I’m afraid that I will see them making the same type of choices my mom made. I fear that I will see them in pain during the last years of their life.
The difficult part is knowing that it’s something I can control. I can’t judge their life or their choices. All I can do is love, accept and support my loved ones. So, I hope that is enough.
Life seems like a very short time. A blink of a eye in the greater scheme of things. I hope that I truly appreciate the give that God has given to me.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
