Today is the last day of 2024. My husband, my sister-in-law and I went to go see some fireworks and now we are watching the celebrations on TV. Less than two weeks ago, I found out that it is very possible that I have some form of autism. Instead of being something devastating, I feel like it has opened my eyes.
Today when we went to go see fireworks, there were many people around. Without even seeing them, I felt their energy and it overwhelmed me. I put all my attention into a game on my phone because I didn’t want to focus on all the energy around me. When the fireworks display began, we got out of our car and watched them. Although the lights were beautiful, the sound from the fireworks felt awful. I asked my husband if he felt the soundwaves from the fireworks, he said that he did, but he didn’t say that they felt bad. I thought it was strange because for me it felt like every wave was a strong blow to my chest. I looked around at other people and no one else seemed to have the reaction I did. My eyes opened up realizing that there’s a reason why I reacted differently from everyone else and more than that, I now know that I am not alone. There are others that have similar reactions. If nothing else, this all goes back to the idea that I should love others as I love myself. I am finding more self-acceptance and self-love and when I do that, I can find more ways to love others and accept them as they are.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
