I have a character trait that I have had a problem accepting. The strangest part about it is that I have found myself being friends and even marrying someone with the same character trait. I don’t have casual relationships. I just don’t know how to attach to other people well. I never have. All my life I felt like I should be trying to do it, but today as I looked at myself and why I wanted it, I realized that it was because that’s what everyone told me that I should want, especially my mother.
My one really good example of someone who did things well was my father. He touched many people’s lives. He wasn’t afraid to talk to people and get to know them, but he also didn’t need to be lifelong friends with everyone and see them frequently. I think that’s wonderful and more so that’s how I would like to be. I don’t want to be a social butterfly, but I also don’t want to be stuck in my house afraid to speak to anyone.
Most of all, I really just want to be able to see the light of God in everyone when I interact with them.
I was doing laundry today and getting mad because of not being able to get to the laundry pods. The laundry pods are in child proofing that I can’t seem to open so I have to use scissors to open. I realized something about the difference between my generation and the new one. My mother told me if I stuck my finger in an electric outlet, I would die. I knew that it meant that I would be gone forever, and it was permanent. So, I didn’t do it. If she told me not to put something in my mouth because I would die, I didn’t do it. However, in today’s world, death is a difficult concept. In the games and VR world, if a character dies, then they can be brought back to life. In movies and TV, many times a character dies, and then they are brought back to life somehow, usually through lazy writing and plot devices. The problem is that people today don’t understand the permanence of death. So, when someone tells them, don’t do this, you will die, they don’t understand it is the highest stake ever and they shouldn’t do it. On that one, I think it is a sin of pride because we have lost our respect for life and for death.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
