Structure

I think I am having a difficult time today because of lack of structure.  I guess I want to feel some kind of control over my life and because of that I want to have structure so that I know what’s happening.  I want to know when I am going to eat, when activities are taking place, etc.  If I don’t know, it makes me really anxious, especially when I know that I am not the person who is making those decisions.  

For example, I went to breakfast with my husband’s relatives.  We had a great time visiting and eating, but we sat talking for a long time after we finished eating.  I felt claustrophobic because usually when everyone finishes eating, you leave.  That didn’t happen.  So, I knew we would be staying to visit and talk for a while, but I didn’t know how long.  I felt like I couldn’t stay still.  The restaurant seemed so loud.  I wanted to leave and have a break from the noise and energy.  When we finally left, I started to have a horrible migraine headache.  Part of my problem was that I felt like I couldn’t choose when we left.   

I know that it isn’t just autism; it is also my PTSD.   I had my life controlled for such a long time that now I really freak out when it feels like I have no control.  I guess what I could have done was get up and go outside for a while.  I kept forgetting that I have choices.   It’s one of those crazy things.  I think that’s part of the PTSD, autism, and everything else.   

It all comes down to figuring out what is going on when it is happening and then figuring out what I have control over and what I don’t have control over.   

Before I started to write this post, I was feeling angry and upset because I had it in my mind that other people involved in my situations were being self-centered and thoughtless.  Maybe they are and maybe they aren’t, but I am realizing that’s not the point. I can’t control how other people behave.  So, what’s the point in getting angry about how they behave?   I can control how I behave. In this situation, I think I should be feeling upset because I failed to see all my opportunities.  I hope that in the future I can do better.  And most importantly, I am realizing that if I see what I can control and what I can’t control, then maybe my heart will open up and I will find more patience and understanding when it feels like others are being self-centered and thoughtless.  I’m not here to judge others, I am here to change me and to love others.  I hope that I can do better next time.  I pray that I will be able to. 

My faith saved me.  May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts. 

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