I spent the day working on my writing today. I reviewed many of my short stories and I realized that a lot of my stories had the theme of death. I don’t think that I see death as something to be afraid of, but I do see it as a major change in existence. More importantly, it’s the only change that we go through that no one knows what will happen.
With my OCD, going into anything and not knowing what is going to happen will be scary for me. At the same time, whenever anything changes, I suffer from anxiety. So, when I try to imagine stories and scenarios that induce fear, I tend to gravitate towards death because it is the ultimate in a life changing event that is filled with the unknown.
While death might be great for my writing, it just isn’t the same with my spirituality. The longer I live and the more I grow in faith, I realize that death is just a life-change that I have no control over. I will not be able to control it at all. I can’t worry about it or obsess about it because all that energy will be wasted in vain. The only thing I can do is understand that I need to give my life and my death over to God. I must realize that it is all in His hands and He has a plan for me. My faith allows me to forget about those things I cannot control and instead focus on all the gifts that I can enjoy and be thankful for. Life is about living for every moment and recognizing what God has given to me.
I guess today as I noticed myself writing about death, I realized that I need to also write about being thankful for life.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
