I read something today about the difference between horror and terror. I don’t think it really makes much of a difference, but I would like to contemplate it. The idea was that horror is an in your face quick scare from the victim’s point of view and terror is a slow-burn torturous type of scare from the antagonist point of view.
So, it made me think about how I often write about fear and feeling afraid due to anxiety. The idea of feeling afraid is just something that comes from an adrenaline rush. It’s that feeling that comes from a jump scare in a movie, that near miss car accident, or any number of things. It’s just that for me that anxiety happens often and for strange reasons. It last longer than it should. I have to learn to figure that out, but it’s like horror, in that it is about my reaction to the world. If I learn about how my body and mind are reacting to the world, then I can deal with my anxiety better. When it comes to fear, that’s different. Fear is about the world itself and things that I don’t have control over. I know that for me, I am feel fear over bugs touching me, I feel fear over people attacking me, and I feel fear over losing the people I love to death. All those things aren’t things I can’t control and just like terror not being from the victim’s point of view, these fears aren’t things that are from my point of view because they are about things outside of me. They aren’t a jump scare; they are ongoing things that I can worry about for months and years. I.E. the reason for the phrase “The thought of it terrifies me.”
My contemplation leads me to where I have written before. In everything, I must put my life in God’s hands and understand that if I can’t control it, then I must have faith in God. I could spend my entire life worrying about the things I can’t control, but I would spend my life worrying and not enjoying life. So, anytime I feel fear, I realize I must put that fear in God’s hands and embrace life. However, when it comes to anxiety, something that’s my body’s reaction, then I have to remember that I have some control. I can be a better person by learning to understand how my body deals with those reactions and knowing God will be there to help me.
So, I realize that in faith, I have nothing to fear, but my body and mind can still suffer from anxiety. I know and have known for a long time that it will be a lifelong struggle. I also know God will guide me through it. For neither horror nor terror can defeat God’s love.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
