I have been having a cluster migraine since Saturday morning. It has been going on for five days now. Today is the first day that I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I am happy for that. I wish that I didn’t have to deal with the pain. I wish that it didn’t hurt so much. I also hate how much the treatment is steroids that upset my stomach. However, at the same time, I realize that it is just something that I have to go through.
It’s a tunnel. I can’t go around it or bypass it. I just need to go through it. And just like a tunnel once I am inside, it gets really dark and scary. There’s a point of no return when I see the light where I can from and I can see the light where I am going. I just feel surrounded by darkness. At that point, everything is so dark, I can’t really see where I am going, so I just keep going and hoping that I am moving forward. Somehow, faith leads me in the right direction. Sometimes, I see the light after a few hours, sometimes it takes days or even longer, but I’ve learned that eventually, I will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel tired now and it is difficult to recover, but I know I will be able to do it. It’s a strange thing. My mother taught me that everything bad about me was my fault and everything good about me was from an outside source. Now, that’s not true, but it does help me with learning to endure. Anything that I feel that comes from within me that I need help with, I know that I can lift up and give to God and He will take that burden from my heart and my soul. At the same time, anything that I need to endure, courage, bravery, or strength, I know that I don’t need to have those things, because I can depend on God to be those things for me. His love gives me everything I need and I can turn to Him with every need I have. I just require faith in Him. If I believe, then I will always find my way out of the darkness and into the light.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
