I did something today that I didn’t think I could do. I went to vote by myself. For most people going to a polling site and voting isn’t a big deal, but for someone like me, it is something huge. With my OCD and anxiety for the longest time, I was afraid to go vote. I thought that they would tell me I didn’t belong there, and they would throw me out. I never even contemplated doing it until I got married and my husband went with me so that I didn’t have to go by myself. The first few times he went with me I had horrible panic attacks. We had to wait in long lines that caused me anxiety. Even without the lines, just the experience itself scared me. I really had a difficult time with it.
Each time, I had to remind myself about my vow to God and remember that I could not let a panic attack keep me from voting. So, I stood in those lines, and I had the panic attack. It felt bad, but I did it. Then, today early voting started. It is probably one of the most important elections of my lifetime so far. I went to the poll site by myself, and it scared me. I saw the line wasn’t that long so I tried it. I waited in line. I met a very nice woman who was a fitness instructor and the couple behind her were very nice too. I saw a camera crew there for the news. I saw a security officer there who didn’t seem to care about anything happening around him. I saw a woman who needed EMS because of heat exhaustion. I saw a man driving a white Tesla. However, the most striking site I saw were several people with wheelchairs, walkers, and canes who came to vote because it was important to them. I felt good to see so many people. Usually all the people and their energy feels overwhelming to me, but this time I felt different. I told the woman I met about trying to see others the way I wanted to be seen. I didn’t see voters standing in a line, I saw other humans who deserved my respect and understanding.
I don’t know what’s going to happen with this election. I’ll be the first to admit that it causes me great anxiety. However, today I went and voted by myself. That’s something that I didn’t think I would ever have the ability to do. I thought my anxiety would prevent me from doing it. While I was there, I saw and felt the humanity of the people around me. If that’s possible, then who know what is possible with God?
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
