I really want to be able to have love and understanding in my heart at all times, but it’s really difficult. I find when I am in pain, my ability to have patience is diminished. I really wish that I could find some way to deal with it.
A few months back a friend of mine wrote a poem about a monk who set himself on fire as a form of protest. There’s a famous picture of him as his body is being set ablaze. He seems perfectly peaceful as he sits in the lotus position surrounded by flames. Anyone who sees the picture knows during those moments and in the moments soon after, he would feel the incredible pain of burns as well as the pain of suffocation as the fire stopped his ability to breathe. Most people would cry and scream. They would get up and fight against the flames or flee from them, but this monk found peace and he sat and met death on his terms.
I suffer from pain almost every day and I don’t know how to find peace in it. I just barely know how to live with it. I would love to be able to learn the secret that this monk found to meet the pain with peace. Did he find some inner strength? Did he disassociate from his body? I know that I have life yet to live and I will continue to feel pain. I pray for God to help me understand it. I don’t want to fight the pain and I don’t want to run away from it. I want to find peace with it. I hope that if I find peace with the pain then maybe I can be patient, loving, and understanding even when I don’t feel well. So, I pray for God to help me find that peace.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
