Today is the first day of December. I am having a bad headache day, but I spent the morning with my brother-in-law. I learned that his wife is having a difficult time with anxiety, depression, and other health issues. I don’t know all the details, but I do recognize one thing: There, but for the grace of God go I. I feel for her because I know that it is very possible with my health problems and anxiety I could very well be in similar circumstances.
There’s been a big trend in recent years about “shaming”. I absolutely hate the idea and word, but there’s something important to address in this situation. Often it is easy to see someone who is going through a difficult situation like a mental health issue or a physical health issue. And if you are someone like me who has found help and done work on it, or even if you haven’t, if is very easy to slip into temptation and judge those people. It is easy to think they are weak and don’t have will power and strength to change the circumstances of their own lives. However, there are two problems with this thinking. First, it is never a good idea to compare your life to anyone else. It always leads to pain. Second, no one should ever judge another person and say they are weak and don’t have willpower or strength. Whenever I see someone struggling, I sometimes am quick to judge because of the teachings of our society, but I also quickly recognize that inside of me and immediately try to see the person and instead of judging them, I think about how they must feel. I don’t think about my judging thoughts and instead I try to feel empathy for them.
The problem that has arisen in recent years is that our society has gone the opposite direction of judging people who are struggling. We have started saying that we shouldn’t judge these people at all and we should behave as if everything in their life is perfectly okay and they aren’t struggling at all. In other words, in order to not judge we act like these people don’t have any problem at all. I don’t think that’s helpful either. We cannot support someone struggling with life by pretending that they aren’t struggling. It’s almost like saying instead of judging you for your difficulty, I am going to pretend like that part of you doesn’t exist.
God tells us not to judge another when we struggle, that is true. However He also doesn’t ask us to ignore each other. He wants us to see each other and treat each other with love and understanding. My favorite example of late is the abortion issue. The laws to make abortion legal and/or illegal are a way to judge each other on the issue, but they don’t address helping women with this issue. If we stopped judging and just started to ignore the issue, then that really wouldn’t help either. I have always proposed that what we really need to do is see women and the struggles that they are going through, treat them with love, respect, and understanding, and then and only then when we truly look at our sisters in Christ as human beings and children of God will we start to save lives in any significant way.
We need to start seeing each other and treating each other the way that we would want to be treated. It is a commandment of God. I am practicing that every day of my life.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
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