I saw a movie today. The premise was the generic war between angels and demons on Earth because somehow Lucifer had brought the battle between Heaven and Hell into the Earthly realm. It’s a generic storyline that has been told over and over again. The interesting part is that none of the movies that take on this idea ever really do very good. I think the reason is that it is very difficult to create a visual of angels and demons battling for dominance over Earth in a way that seems real. Most of the time it either looks campy or like bad CGI.
For me, I think that it doesn’t resonate with reality. I believe that there are forces of good and evil in the universe. I believe that there’s temptation around every corner. However, in my own journey, I have come to understand there’s no true Heaven and Hell. Not the way it was taught to me. I was taught that Heaven is a reward I will get for being a good person where the streets are paved with gold, and everyone is at peace all the time. I was taught that Hell is a punishment I will get for being a bad person where it is hot, and I will be tortured eternally with unimaginable pain surrounded by fire and brimstone.
First, my life is a gift from God. He doesn’t sit up in Heaven with a clipboard making note of every choice I make and decide if I am on the naughty or nice list. That would be Santa Claus. He doesn’t give me a present for being good or a punishment for being bad. That would also be Santa Claus. God is more than that. He loves and accept me as I am. When I die, I believe He will welcome me home: ashes to ashes; dust to dust.
Yes, there is evil in the world and goodness, too. I do believe that evil forces can act upon our lives, but at the same time, I also believe they can only act upon our lives if we give them the power to do so. My life follows God’s greatest commandments to love others as I love myself and to hold God above all others. There is no other power in my life that is more important than God.
Today is my twenty-fourth wedding anniversary. I love my husband very much and I can’t imagine my life without him. My life changed completely the day I met him. I often think of my life in two parts: the time before I met him and the time after I met him. And yet, my wedding vows are the second most important vows that I ever made in my life.
The most important vow I ever made in my life was a vow a made to God. I promised God that I would do everything and anything I could to get better from whatever anxiety or mental disorder I had as long as He was at my side. That meant for the last thirty-two years, every decision, every choice, and every moment, I have tried to keep that vow in mind. I have done my best, even though I made many mistakes, to face my fears and to do difficult work so that I could be the person that God wants me to be. I have put God at the center of my life and trusted that if I did so, He would be there no matter how much pain I felt or how difficult life became. For the last thirty-two years, He has been there. I have no doubt He will be with me long pass the day I die.
I know that life is painful, scary, and difficult. I also know that there’s evil and hate all over the place. However, I have faith in God and if I should encounter evil and hate, I believe He will stay with me no matter what happens.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
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