Life has highs and lows. I wasn’t feeling well because of a headache, but I thought I would be ok. Then, I suffered from a night of insomnia. I thought I would be okay, and I know I would be okay, but not having that night of sleep is like going into a tunnel. I go into this tunnel, and I know I am going into darkness where I’m going to feel horrible and like everything feels like I can’t do anything right. It will feel like my world is falling apart and I won’t be able to see anything at all that brightens my outlook because I am surrounded by darkness. After all, what kind of adult gets into such trouble that they can’t figure out how to fall asleep? I felt so stupid that I just couldn’t fall asleep.
I am in that tunnel now. I finally fell asleep, but without that sleep everything goes wrong. I did an interview today and I messed it up. I can’t get things to work right on my computer. Everything just feels off and wrong to me. Even though I am sitting in daylight, I feel like there’s horrible darkness all around me. My only answer is to have faith. Believe that as I sit here crying and feeling like the worst person in the world that somehow it will be okay because God is with me.
There’s nothing in this world, no proof of any kind that I have that will let me know that anything is going to be okay. I just have to take a leap of faith and keep moving forward and hope that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel that I am going through. I have to believe that this is all in God’s plan for me. And somehow weirdly enough I want to and I don’t know why.
So, right now, I pray for God to be with me and help me because I’m not strong enough.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
