I have been trying to understand and live with the election results. I think I understand now how to live with it and move on. There was a moment with my parents, a very specific moment with my parents when I had wanted to believe that they were who I thought they were, but at the moment, I understood they would never be those people, and I had to accept that my parents were these truly awful people.
For the last few years, I have been watching new shows and late night comedy and listening to people like my husband and I’ve been trying to believe that American society is what I want it to be and that the ideals that I grew up with and that I was taught America was about really stood for something, but when I found out the results to this election, I realize that I cried and I am still crying because I am mourning the loss of what I thought the American and Christian society I live in was.
The truth is that the message of the Sower’s seeds is truer today that it ever was. God has given a message to the world and spread it, but it has fallen on ears that taken it and done all kinds of things to it, but there are so few who truly hear the message and really understand. Almost every Christian doesn’t get it or want to understand. Every believer just wants to believe what they have been taught instead of wanting to know the truth. In the United States, the Constitution was created by elite rich racist white men, and it is still run by that same class of men. In over two hundred years, nothing has changed. Those ideals that I was taught in school were bullshit. The constitution is something that those men will wipe their asses with if they can. Those men will do the same with the Bible. They don’t care about anyone or anything and people are so brainwashed they don’t care.
So, I guess in my state of grieving for my view of what America is, I have gone through denial and depression. Last night, I wanted to try to bargain my way out of it, but creating a Facebook group and getting a movement going to try to believe it couldn’t be that way. Today I am just really angry about it. Hopefully, soon, I will accept it and find some way to figure out how to move on.
I think the hardest part is going to be trying to see the light of God within people who are so horrible and awful. And yet, I know that’s what God commands. I don’t have that within me. So, I pray for God to give me that acceptance for the way things are and to help me to have the strength to love all this people that I can’t understand.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
