Today I am going to get a procedure done for my migraine headaches. I have been through it before and the routine of it helps. Knowing the steps and doing the same things over again helps with my OCD. That feeling of “wrongness” isn’t spiking. However, I still feel nervous. I can feel my hand shaking as I type.
I could take anti-anxiety drugs. It wouldn’t make me any less of a person. I wouldn’t be any less courageous or brave. I actually have taken those drugs in the past and it has helped. I am choosing not to take those drugs today because I am choosing to take a huge leap of faith. I believe God wants us to experience life not just the good parts, but all the parts of life. It is in His plan for me to experience anxiety. So, I am going to take this leap of faith and come what may today, I will let myself experience whatever happens. I don’t know why. and I don’t need to know why. All I need to know is that God had a plan for me. If I start to feel overwhelmed, then my safety net isn’t a drug, it is God. I have to believe one hundred percent in my heart that He will guide me through it no matter how difficult it gets. I know how bad anxiety can get. I have been dealing with it for over thirty years. It is a struggle to just fall and say God’s going to catch me today, but that’s faith.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
