My elderly aunt who lives with us fell down a couple of weeks ago. She hurt herself and ever since then she has been lying and acting recklessly. Yesterday, I became very upset when she went out into the garage and tried to get something that she didn’t need. She could have really hurt herself, fallen down, and possibly caused stacked boxes to fall down on her. I became very angry. I didn’t understand why at first. Then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was afraid for her. She is acting in a way that isn’t good for her and she is lying to everyone. I have heard at least four different versions of the story of how she fell because she keeps changing her story. Her dishonesty and reckless behavior is going to cause her harm and unnecessary pain and suffering in her last days. If she were only open to accepting help, then she would have a much easier time. However, she is acting almost exactly like my mother did. She doesn’t want to accept help from anyone, and she would rather suffer than show any vulnerability.
It is very difficult for me to accept this behavior because it triggers me. I think the part that bothers me the most is the lying. I spent twenty-eight years having my mom lied to me and gaslight me. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I guess the only thing I can do is to remember the principles of my faith and ask God to help me.
So, my first principle is to know that I can only control my own behavior. I can’t control her. I can’t make her eat, take care of herself, or ask for help. The second principle is that I should love others as I love myself. Right now, that’s a struggle. So, I am going to pray to God to give me patience and forgiveness for the woman who is being stubborn. Help me to treat her with love, patience and kindness, even though I am not getting anything in return. Give me guidance and understanding so that the struggle won’t be so difficult.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
