I am in the middle of a situation that I really don’t want to write about, but that situation made me think about how I deal with people. God wants us to love others as we would love ourselves. However, I have found in my lifetime that I haven’t always felt like loving myself. I have had times in my life when I was very down on myself for a lot of different reasons. It really isn’t about what I felt towards myself. The crux of the matter is more about choice. I have to choose to love myself. I can’t let all the static from the world distract me from the truth of who I am in God’s eyes. I struggle every day to see myself that way God sees me.
I realized today that when I interact with other people, most of the time, I don’t think about it very much. Yet when I contemplated it today, I realized that the way I am feeling has a great effect on how I interact with others. If I am in pain or in a bad mood, then my interaction is different than if I am happy or having a good day. I can’t help but wonder if it should be that way.
I think about Jesus’ life. In all the stories about Him, He doesn’t ever seem to get angry or upset with anyone. He doesn’t have ill feelings because He is in a bad mood. He always acted out of peace and love. Yet, I know He was human and the Son of God. If He wasn’t, then He wouldn’t have prayed at the garden His doubts about the trial that He was to face. I think the stories about Him give me this wonderful example of someone who choose His actions, instead of going around the place feeling His way.
I often write that I feel like I have been drawn into darkness and need help to find my way out. Maybe if I became more mindful and present in my own life, then I wouldn’t get lost so much. If I made more choices instead of stumbling around feeling my way through, maybe God’s path for me might seem a lot clearer.
I’ve been living this way for a long time. I can’t change overnight, but I can try to change and hope that over time, I might get better at it. The least I can do is try. Also, I realize today that if I am right, then it really is true: it doesn’t matter if someone else is negative and hurtful towards me, all it takes is my making the choice to be present in God’s love.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
