After a conversation with a writing group yesterday, I have contemplated being an Agnostic. It goes back to something that I considered as a child. I used to think about where in space was I located. I was on the Earth, the Earth was in the solar system, the solar system was in the universe, etc. It could go on for infinity, but the truth for me at least is location or space doesn’t really exist. It is a construct living beings have to understand their surroundings. If space doesn’t exist, then I don’t think time does either. We think of the universe expanding over time, the planets moving in space over time, light traveling in space and the speed of light is measured by a unit of time. But if space doesn’t really exist, then nothing is really moving it and there’s no time. Again, it is a construct invented by living beings to better understand their surroundings.
I have tried to understand what the world would be like without time and space. I can sort of understand it, but it is way out of my ability. The only thing that I can understand is how God sees me. I believe I experience free will. However, at the same time, if there’s no time, then when God sees me, He sees my entire life like a tapestry. He doesn’t just see one moment; He sees every moment all at once as if a whole experience. If He sees all, then it would seem like I don’t have free will at all. Yet, I think I do.
Seeing me at all once doesn’t take away my free will. Free will is about taking action or making a decision in a moment in time, but if time doesn’t exist, then I could have free will as long as my creator grants it to me.
And there’s where my philosophy of faith enters the picture. If God created everything, then He doesn’t place the same value on things that we do. He created both happiness and sadness. He doesn’t think one is better than the other. He created angels and demons. He created saints and psychotics. He created Sister Theresa and Adolf Hitler. At His level, the Yin Yang symbol must make sense because dualities transcend each other, and all becomes one. I think that’s the biggest idea that most people forget about God. He created everything. He has a plan for us.
Even those things that are difficult to understand or accept have a place in His plan. We have a choice accept that He has a plan and surrender to it, even though we may never know what it is or reject God. I personally can’t imagine my life without God so I choose every day to accept His will and His plan.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
