I listened to one of those reality shows where they put singles together in a situation that doesn’t exist in real life. The singles are supposed to find their mate, propose, get engaged, and get married within just a few months. I felt shocked at how unreal the reality show was. These people acted like they had found the love of their lives and they were excited about living the rest of their lives with each other. The show made me think about my own relationship with my own husband.
We were older, but we wrote to each other through email for one month. After that we met. After another month, we got engaged. Then eight months later, we were married. During those eight months, we went to marriage counselling. I discovered two very important things about my husband. First, although we had gotten to know each other very well and I was in love with him. I really didn’t know him. Second, there was going to be at least one day, probably more, in my marriage when I woke up, looked at him, and would wonder: who the hell did I marry?
After twenty-three years of marriage, I can honestly say that those two things were true. Every day I know him more and more and I fall in love with him again and again. And yes, there have been so many moments when I wondered: who the hell did I marry?
The thing is that it didn’t matter because the love I have for this man is based in the same type of faith I have for God. Somehow deep inside I feel like he is my soulmate, and no one can convince me otherwise. And even when he surprises me with a new aspect of who he is or how he has changed, I find that I choose to love him because of that faith in our love and that I believe with all my heart that he is my soulmate.
In some ways, I love the idea of this crazy unreal reality show because I know that true love exists and that a deep faith in love for another can prove that love does conquer all, but at the same time, I also believe that love takes hard work and commitment. I just don’t think that two soulmates can find each other when they meet in an artificial fishbowl. I mean it can happen, but it’s a one in a million shot.
I still value listening to the show because it gives me a new gratitude for my own relationship. People hope all the time to win the lottery and very few people are lucky enough to win. Yet I realize that I found something more elusive than winning the lottery, I found my true soulmate. It’s like winning the lottery in love. I thank God every day for my husband. He is the best blessing I could ever ask for.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
