I have had severe laryngitis for over a week. I suffered from laryngitis before, but I would not talk at all for about seven days, and it would get better. This time I can’t seem to get it to where I don’t talk at all. I keep straining my vocal cords and I don’t get any better. It is very frustrating.
I read somewhere that if you keep suffering from an ailment or injury in the same place on your body that it could be the universe or your subconscious trying to tell you something. I considered writing about this topic several days now, but I avoided writing about it because I don’t know why I keep getting laryngitis.
Yet I think the reason might be very simple. All my life, I have had recurring nightmares where someone was attacking me or hurting me and all I needed to do was yell out “No!” or “Help!”. When the time comes for me to yell out, nothing comes out of my mouth. Since I am a lucid dreamer, I rewind the dream and try again and again to yell out and find my voice, but most of the time, I never can find any voice. Most of my life, when I tried to speak, I just didn’t have the confidence and so my voice was quiet. When I was abused, screaming didn’t change anything. I’ve spent most of my life listening and it’s a great talent to be able to listen, but I’m so afraid that no one will every hear me when I really have something to say.
Worse of all, what if I never have anything worth saying? What if no one in the world cares one bit about anything I say? That’s a classic case for laryngitis, isn’t it?
I think the best I can do is realize that every night when I write my post and pray my prayer, I know one thing: God listens. He will always hear my voice. He knows my voice better than I do. He hears it even when I have laryngitis.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
