I have been working on National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words in one month. I just got to 50,015 words a few minutes ago. This year is my third year, but it feels like the hardest year for me and the most rewarding. I didn’t think I was going to do the project this year because I didn’t have a novel to write, but then I got an idea. I put everything together at the last minute and I worked more on the background for this story than I have on any of my other stories. I know that even when I am finished with the structure and rough draft, I am going to need to go back and edit and fix things, but I am excited about pulling it all together because it feels like I am pulling together a spiderweb.
The reason that I feel like it is the most rewarding is because of all the background work, but the reason it has been the hardest year is because there were so many days that I just thought I wasn’t going to be able to meet that day’s writing requirement. To do this project, essentially the writer needs to write 1,667 words a day. It doesn’t sound like very much, but when you try to do it every day, it can be a lot. What I have found is that it is a lot like faith. I just do it even if I don’t know how I am going to get through it.
There are days when I feel like I am totally lost in darkness. There are moments when I just don’t know how I am going to get through the next hour. Yet, somehow I do. The way it works is I have faith and I know that if I just keep living and breathing, God will be at my side and somehow come what may, I will get through to the next hour or the next day. Somehow, I will see the light again.
When I write, especially for a project like this, I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t even know if I am a good writer. I just know that I am a writer. I want to tell my stories. So, I sit, and I write. I get my words in and the next day, I continue. And no matter what happens in my life or how crazy life seems, I continue to write because I am a writer. It is what I do. I do it when it’s a challenge, I do it when I’m sick, I do it when there’s no power, I do it when I’m on vacation. I do it because it’s a part of me just like the OCD is a part of me. So, I have faith that if I just keep writing, somehow come what may, my being me will be what I need to be. My being me will be part of God’s plan. My being me is and that is all I need to be.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
