Yesterday I wrote about my mission, and I wanted to write more on it. In January of 2017 I started to write this blog in just a month, I will reach my 7-year anniversary of writing every day. When I first started to write, I had different intentions than I do now. Yet, I always knew that this was going to be a journey of faith. I knew that when I committed myself to being a writer, I committed myself to the idea that my life isn’t my own. I am a servant of God. When I write, whatever I write, I am sharing God’s message.
When I first started writing, I had no idea what message God wanted me to share. It has slowly revealed itself to me that God’s message is that we aren’t alone. It is a deceptively simple message. People write to share the idea that we aren’t alone. And now, I am discovering people do a lot to feel like we aren’t alone. We look for romantic partners to share our lives with so that we won’t be alone. We look to religion so that we can share a common belief and fellowship with other believers. We participate in sports, music festivals, theater performances, etc. all so that we can feel a sense of sharing a common experience with others. We even join cults and hate groups because we long so much for that sense of belonging. We even invented, conceived, and implemented the internet and social media so that people could connect with each other.
The irony is that with all that we do and with all of other technology, people still feel extremely lonely and alone in this world. People feel like no one cares and that the world would be a better place without them, just look at suicide rates. Others feel like they are hated and that they don’t belong anywhere in this world. I heard a Palestinian mother on the news say that there wasn’t a single safe place in the world for her children to go where they wouldn’t be attacked. Then, there are just people that no one notices. They aren’t on the news or in any statistics. They are just lonely people who go through life like zombies because they already feel dead inside.
And the good news that God has is that we aren’t alone. We aren’t alone because God is with us always. We aren’t alone because we have each other. We aren’t alone because we are all one. My life is just a part of this beautiful life force made of many. All of us belong to it. We really are one body, one mind, and one spirit. There’s no reason to fear because somehow even if the worse things happen, the light of God will shine through our life force will not end.
So, here’s how OCD works: as I am writing this, I have this horrible feeling that if I write there’s no reason to fear that I am going to be murdered horribly and brutally. I can imagine someone killing me with a knife and the pain of feeling that physical hurt and knowing I am going to die in the last few minutes as I die. It is like a horror movie in my head. It happens to me all the time. These little horror movies are like the problem of pain: how can God exist if He lets horrible things happen to good people? The thing is even if I should die in the most horrible murder, the life force that I belong to will go on. No matter how horrible and evil an act is, the life force within continues. We go on and God goes on with us.
I don’t have all the answers and I don’t know how I will die, but I do know that unless there’s some cosmic disturbance in the universe that destroys the earth entirely, I don’t need to fear death because life will continue. Light, love, the Holy spirit within will continue.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
