My family is having an urgent medical crisis. Everyone is worried and upset because they don’t know what is going to happen and they are worried about the worst-case scenarios. I don’t know what’s wrong with me because although I am worried and feel so much empathy for my family members, I have this deep-down feeling inside of me that everything is going to be okay this time. That feeling is completely alien to me. Just yesterday, when I wrote there’s no reason to fear, I automatically had my head filled with nightmarish images of my own brutal murder. Yet in this case, when I consider everything, I just have this feeling of peace knowing that it’s going to be okay. I can’t even imagine any of the worst-case scenarios that are going through the rest of my family’s heads.
I don’t understand it. There’s a part of me thinking that I’m being naïve and it’s just wishful thinking hoping for a good outcome. Then, there’s another part of me I feel like there’s a part of me that I’ve been ignoring most of my life. I should have been listening to all along. I don’t think I have psychic powers or can read the future, but I do believe that I have intuition. When I get feelings about things, strong feelings like this, I don’t want to believe them because how could I possibly know? And yet every time, I seem to know. Or maybe it is just me believing it to be true sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy?
What I have been writing about lately is that my life is a representation or a microcosm of the total of all life on earth. When people discuss things like ghosts, spirits, psychic abilities, etc., we really don’t understand it. Even with all of our technology, no one has seriously investigated it. It is still something that people ask: Do you believe in? instead of talking about what has been discovered by scientists. However, if we are a microcosm of the total of all life, then maybe all those unknown phenomena are really just individuals tapping into a collective spirit or a collective unconscious. When God says that we can make miracles happen with the faith of a mustard seed, maybe we should believe that individually some of us may not be capable of much, but as one life force we can do so many miraculous feats that it is beyond anyone’s imagination. As one life force all those supernatural phenomena don’t seem unbelievable anymore.
As much as I realize we are capable of so much evil, we are also capable of so much good. As much as I realize that we are capable of so much hate, we are also capable of so much love. So, tonight I pray for my family. I pray that God give us endurance and guidance to get through the storm that we are going through at this time. And I pray that God open my eyes and continues to help me understand how to love and understand my brothers and sisters in Christ.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
