I once had a woman tell me that there were three types of people in the world. Some people were here to play, some people were here to suffer, and I have forgotten the other type. I forgot because I never thought there should ever be just three types of people and because my mother assumed my brother was here to play and I was here to suffer. I know neither of those is true.
However, I know there’s a problem of pain. People think that our suffering means there’s no God because how could God possibly let us suffer through evil and pain if He really loves us? Except I believe because He really loves us, He lets us suffer. An overprotective parent like mine would try to keep us in a box like a glass doll and keep us from experiencing life. That parent would keep us from suffering, but we would miss so much that life has to offer as well. That parent would be too afraid to let us experience everything including pain because that parent would be too selfish to experience the pain of seeing their children hurt sometimes in order to experience all that life has to offer. My own mother would go as far as to hurt me to protect me from the pain and evil of life instead of letting me experience life. God isn’t that way; He loves me enough to suffer on the cross, so that I can experience everything life has to offer even if that means evil, sin, loss, and pain.
Yesterday and to be honest several days this week, I found myself suffering in various ways and I didn’t want to face it, but I did. I don’t want to admit it, but when I felt hurt and in darkness, I noticed my life more. I felt more in the moment and I found that even thought I was writing that I didn’t feel thankful for anything, I saw that there were amazing things about my life and this world to be thankful for.
Years ago, when I suffered panic attacks almost every day and I really didn’t know how I was going to get to the next day, I had forgotten that as much as I didn’t want to live through all those horrible panic attacks, I was finding little things to be thankful for. I was crying for joy just for God’s presence in my life or for a sunrise. I was finding comfort in just eating a simple ice cream treat. We often forget to be thankful for everyday things. We often forget to thank God for the food that we eat, the nature all around us, the people we see every day, and for every little moment of a silly little lives. Yet when we suffer or feel pain, those tiny little things can mean so much if we just pay attention to them.
I pray that I can continue to remember to be thankful and have a sense of gratitude. I pray that I continue to learn to just let go and follow God’s lead. All of us are on a journey it will take a lifetime, may God give us the endurance for the journey.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
