Today, my dog sprained a muscle in his left paw. We had to take him to the pet emergency room because he was in so much pain. He wouldn’t stop chewing on his paw. He couldn’t sit still. He was panting because of the discomfort. The only problem with pet emergency rooms is that they have longer waiting times than human emergency rooms. The first place we tried had a six hour wait. We finally found a place and once they were ready for us, we still ended up spending over two hours there.
I had a difficult time in the waiting room. Thankfully my husband was with me, and I could go out to the car. My OCD just went wild. My head throbbed. I felt hot. Every sound sounded like it was turned up to volume 100. I was thirsty and I couldn’t concentrate. The worst part is it felt like I was going to feel that way forever.
I felt like I was being tortured. I didn’t know how I was going to get through it even though I knew it wasn’t going to last forever and I knew that I really wasn’t being tortured. I did know that I didn’t need to be afraid and that somehow I was going to be okay. When I am faced with situations with my OCD or anxiety now, I feel like even if I don’t have peace in how my body feels, I do have peace in knowing that God is near. I will be able to get through it somehow.
I hate comparing dogs and humans because I know there’s just no comparison. However, today my dog was in discomfort, he was running around and panting wanting anything to relief his pain. When I was in that waiting room, I was in discomfort as well. I wanted to go crazy, run and do anything and everything to relief how I felt. The difference was I knew that I could depend on God, the light inside, the spirit. I am not strong. I know that, but the light of God within me burns bright and when I have days like today, that light guides me through the day so that I can see tomorrow.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
