Expectations

I saw this documentary today about a fire at an amusement park.  When I saw the part where they described the fire and the tragedy that happened (seven people died), I felt my heart speed up and I could tell that I felt empathy for the victims.  I couldn’t imagine living through that loss.  The story that got to me the most was a woman who lost her entire family in the fire.  Her husband and two young sons died while she stood outside unable to do anything.  Within just a few minutes, her entire life changed forever unexpectedly.  

Here’s the thing about life as I see it: I am sitting here at my computer watching TV with my aunt and my husband along with my two dogs.  I am expecting to go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow morning with my husband by my side.  We should be able to go to work and have a normal day.  Although it sounds very normal and boring, that’s a lot of expectations. There are so many things that could happen between now and tomorrow evening. I have such a good mind for worst case scenarios that I can let my imagination go wild: our house could catch fire, my aunt could pass away from old age, my husband or I could die of a brain aneurysm in our sleep, someone could break into our house and murder us, my husband could die in a car accident driving to or from work, nuclear war could start, a terrorist attack could happen, etc. There are a multitude of things that could happen that could make me lose everything in just a second.  Just thinking about all those things could make me a nervous wreck.  I can’t think about it too long because it would drive me insane.   I know that I don’t have much control of anything, and it can all be taken away at any time.   

 That view is very depressing until faith comes in.  Yes, I know everything is fleeting and out of control, but there’s one thing I do have that can’t be taken away.  God is with me and He will never leave me.  No matter what happens, no matter what I lose, even if I lose my own life, God will never abandon me.  I have faith that as long as God is with me, He will guide me to the light.  He will see me through whatever the universe has in store for me.  I don’t know how I would live through it, if any of those horrible things happened, but I know that somehow God would guide me.  I pray that God gives me His peace in my heart whatever comes, and I pray for His peace in all my brothers and sisters’ hearts. 

My faith saved me.  May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.