When I was a child, I had some insights about myself and the world that seemed self-evident, but then my parents, especially my mother told me that I couldn’t understand the world and that I was naïve. I stopped believing in myself and my ability. Now that my mother is gone, I have found myself trying to remember what I felt like back then. I wonder if it would be possible to understand some of those insights now.
The one that has been on my mind more than any other is the idea that there’s nothing in this world that doesn’t have energy to it. I remember playing with a toy called a Magic Mosaic. It was a board that had several trapezoids that were red, green, blue, and yellow. I could put the pieces into the board and make different patterns. The toy appealed to me because of my OCD nature and love for patterns. When I would play with the toy, I always felt like the pieces felt different. The red pieces wanted to be placed in different places than the green or blue or yellow. Each piece felt like it almost had its own personality. While I know that they were just pieces of plastic, I also knew that I could feel some energy within each of them.
My world, when I was a child, was more like the enchanted castle in “Beauty and the Beast”. Objects didn’t come alive for me. Furniture didn’t move. Yet, everything in my world had energy. Everything had meaning and when I touched it, I could feel a story behind almost anything, even a simple rock or a blade of grass. And while I couldn’t understand the significance of that as a young child then, I can understand it now.
There’s nothing in this world that is insignificant. Everything is imbued with God’s creation. I could feel it then and I understand it now. I am so thankful for everything around me for the earth beneath my feet, for the air all around me, and the sky above me. I am filled with gratitude for all the living things that exist all around me and how I can feel the life force all around me. There’s this amazing miracle of life everywhere and if I could just learn to open my heart and mind to it, the way I did when I was a child, then what an amazing world God has given me to experience!
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
