I feel like I am waiting for my heart to break. We have decided to put our rescue beagle Piper to sleep. It is going to happen tomorrow. Around twelve years ago, my husband and I saw someone abandon some dogs on the street. I wanted to help, but the dogs just kept running away from us. The next best thing I could do was rescue a dog and soon afterward we found Piper.
She hasn’t been easy. She ran away a few times. She rummaged through the trash cans. She stole food that we thought we had put out of her reach. She brought baby birds into the house. One time she even brought a half dead bird and laid it right next to me in bed like some sort of present.
She had a difficult life before she came to us. She had been abused and she scared of people. It took years before she was comfortable with us. She never really wanted to get in our laps and cuddle. Eventually, she would come and get attention, but it had to be on her terms.
When I write about her, I often say that of all the dogs I have ever had, she’s the one that taught me the most about love. I guess the reason is I came into the situation with this grand idea of my being some type of savior for a dog that needed help. I thought I could control the situation and do something about a dog in need. Yet from the very first week that Piper came into the house, she taught me that I wasn’t in control. I could control my own behavior, but I couldn’t change her life and her past in just a day. I couldn’t make her love me by just bringing her home and adding her to my family. It just doesn’t work that way.
Today I feel torn up inside because I feel responsible for her more than I have felt before for any other dog. I chose to rescue her. Now, I pray that I am rescuing her again by not making her suffer through all the aliments, diseases, and pain. I can only hope.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
