Christians talk about greeting each other with peace and leaving each other with peace when they depart each other. When I pray, my final thought is for God’s peace to reside in all of our hearts.
I had a discussion with my husband about sitting still and meditating. He had difficulty with it, but with my sense of discipline it comes much easier for me as long as I am not having a panic attack. If I am having a panic attack, I understand exactly why my husband has difficulty.
I’ve noticed that whatever I have when I pray, when I meditate, or when I just contemplate life, it has been seeping into all the other parts of my life. I feel a sense of peace inside of me that grows with my faith.
I don’t feel peace because I have all the answers. I feel peace because I surrender to God. More than just surrendering, I trust God more and more each day. I want to follow His commandments even when I don’t understand. I want to take those leaps of faith and fall because I know that He won’t abandon me.
In the past month, I have thought a lot about the past. Yet, every time I felt hurt or upset, I found that I could let it go. I have found myself worried about the present, especially work, but each time, I found myself turning to God in prayer and letting it go. When I think about the future, I find myself realizing that even if I feel anxious, I know I will be okay because God is with me.
I used to feel this tightness in my chest all the time. It’s the anticipation of waiting for something bad to happen. I still feel it sometimes, but not like before. Before I would feel it almost all the time, every morning, every Sunday night, it was a constant familiar feeling. Then, I started to write about my faith. I began really thinking about surrendering control to God, trusting in Him, and believing in His presence in my life. Slowly, I am coming into a peace in my heart. It isn’t knowledge about God. It isn’t a knowing or understanding. It’s like an infection. My spirit feels this peace entering and growing inside of me. Not because I know God, but because I believe in God.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
