I know not everyone is going to reach the same place at the same time. I also understand that everyone has the right to their own feelings. However, when I see someone express feelings where they are putting themselves down whether they realize it or not, I feel like I have to say something. I don’t know if I am wrong or right.
It’s all about this idea that God doesn’t make mistakes even though I have OCD and anxiety. I begin to consider people born with birth defects or genetic disorders. Can I really say that God doesn’t make mistakes? When I really think about it, I have to say yes.
Although animals and humans have no comparison, I think about a dog born with three legs. The dog doesn’t feel ashamed because it is different. It doesn’t really even notice that it has three legs instead of four. It just is. It runs, plays, and acts like the dog that God created. When a human being is different, we put judgement on that person because they are different. We assign value to that person being different, God doesn’t. God still sees His perfect creation.
When I think about my OCD and anxiety, I think I have to realize it just means that my brain works differently than most people. I must figure out how it works and how to navigate this world with the brain I have, just like the three-legged dog. Except I think there’s more to it than that. I am in my fifties. I have tried all kinds of drugs and mind-altering addictive substances (all legal). None of them felt good. At least not good enough for me to think I want to try it again. I have never felt a sensation from alcohol that made me feel good. I haven’t felt a high sensation from opioids. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to get addicted to any type of drug. It might be I just haven’t found the right substance, but the point is my brain doesn’t work like most other people. Whatever makes alcohol and pain killers feel good doesn’t make me feel good. It isn’t a good thing. It isn’t a bad thing. It’s just the way I am. That’s what OCD and anxiety are for me as well. My brain works differently. It isn’t a good thing. It isn’t a bad thing. It’s just the way I am. God doesn’t make mistakes.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
